WHAT HAPPENED?

Everyone is eager to know. Questions like, "how did it go?" or "was it successful?" or even "well?" I have no idea how to respond to any of these questions lightly. I try my best to eke out a politically-correct response and half way through I find my brain moving into a place where I just want to share all of my thoughts (good and bad) but hesitate.

So, what happens in the hesitation?

I ask myself, "what are they really asking me?" Let's face it, people don't really want to know details. It's kind of like asking the question of "how are you?" No one wants to REALLY know how you're doing. The unfortunate part of this process is that I won't lie and I am learning how to filter my responses so that I don't compromise myself yet help the other person feel good about the fact that they stepped out of their comfort zone. They reached a new place in their curiosity and ... that's a good thing.

So, here's what happened:
I met amazing new people. I reconnected with old friends. I was challenged. I grew some. I thought I expected nothing and found out that I did expect something. I felt more comfortable in situations where I didn't feel comfortable the last time. I grew. God met me and I embraced Him wholeheartedly, with open arms. My wallet was lost. God provided. I grew to trust Him more. I recognized friendship in the eye of harm. Wisdom knocked at my door. I can only hope I grew. Sharon and I learned more about each other. We laughed. We grew together. I learned to love my Jesus in brand new ways.

What makes you uncomfortable?

Perhaps it’s being in a foreign country where no one speaks your language. Or maybe it makes you uncomfortable to be in weather that is either very hot or very cold. Maybe there are times when you are wanting to speak truth to someone but are afraid. What makes you uncomfortable?

How do we break the bond of being uncomfortable and forge ahead into a territory of knowing that everything will be ok once you make the first step? If I had not stepped outside my comfort zone five years ago and decided to stay home, then I would not have experienced new friendships, new foods and a new way to think about life.

Stepping outside the box has helped me to expand my way of thinking when I go back to my comfortable box and each time I step outside my comfort zone, my comfort zone expands. Trying new foods is always something I am open to. I always say that I will try something at least once. Whether I eat it again is a different story. Let’s take pigs ears. I was encouraged (more like coerced) to try this delicacy. I saw a small piece and dipped it into some horseradish, opened my mouth and allowed my molars to break up the rubbery, mushy, somewhat textured sliver of ear. Then the taste of the pig met my tongue with an explosion of distaste. I did not spit the morsels out onto the table, but my mouth was experiencing a new kind of high. What to do? What to do? Swallow. Ah, yes. The taste would be gone. No. It lingered until someone said, “drink something!” My brain said, “Yes! Anything to make this go away.” My friends giggled the whole time. Ok, it was really more like laughing out loud – there were no giggles. They were having way too much fun at my expense. But I didn’t die and I didn’t get sick and I had a good time with my friends.

What would help you to step outside your comfort zone?

PREPARING THE HEART

As I prepare for my upcoming trip to Russia, I can easily be taken away by the "things to do" list, but this time I am trying to be more reflective. It's not that I don't ask God how He wants me to glorify His Name, but I question whether I see it through. This time, no questions. Ok, that's really not true. How else would I live up to my name of the "why" girl?

I think about the smells and sounds and how much they become a part of your soul. I think about the food and those things that I have missed. I especially am excited to see old friends and to hopefully meet new ones -- to give hugs and receive hugs, to sit and talk for hours and reach into hearts as they too delve into mine. I am already anticipating my first sip of Kvas.

The main thing that my heart is feeling was said so well many years ago by a guy named King David. Maybe these words are familiar to you, maybe they are not. They come from Psalm 63:1-3.
O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise You.

Russia is a spiritually dry and weary land where the believer rate is less than 1%. What else am I to do but to search for my God and know that there is still His power and glory. What else can I do but to praise Him with all my heart?

I generally return with a weary and burdened heart thinking and asking God continually to make His changes in His time and to continue to give strength to His children who live there and carry the largest burden.

Lord, prepare my heart, my mind and strengthen me as I go. I'm preparing to see what You want me to see and hear what You want me to hear and feel what You want me to feel. I surrender to You and what You want. Keep me out of this ... please.